Thousands of protesters flocked to Chicago last Sunday in protest of the two day NATO summit. Most were anti-war hippies, others were wallstreet haters, and for some odd reason a small group were dressed up as clowns.

A group called ClownBloq joined the party, Sunday, in protest of NATO ‘s war policies.
I’ve always said the one way to bring people to your cause is to convince them that you don’t take it seriously.


"Hi, kids..I'm Genocide the Clown!"

ClownBloq organizer Jose Whelan crystallized the group’s mission statement by saying that the protest is “both a joke and NOT a joke.” So in other words the group is a joke.
I just hope the clowns didn’t antagonize the Chicago police, because I'm pretty sure a taser to the groin is a cop’s version of a pie to the face.

Plus, it's far more hilarious

If your one of those people who is constantly staring at your iPhone or Droid you might be noticing some small changes. First, you’ve probably noticed you’re losing all your friends, because instead of congratulating them on getting married at their wedding you’re in the corner playing angry birds. Also, you might be noticing your face is trying to escape your skull. A condition called 'smartphone face'.

Plastic Surgeons say "smartphone face" is created when users sit and stare at their smart phone for hours. This apparently shortens the neck muscles and increases the gravitational pull on the jowl area, leading to a drooping jawline and causing the facial skin to lose its elasticity.

So in ten years, we could all start looking like stroke victims.

Or like this guy

Plastic surgeons say the chin and jawline are among the first areas to show signs of ageing, and the more you stare down at your smartphone the faster you’ll start looking like your glanced at the Ark of The Covenant.
Who would have thought staring at a 6inch screen for 13 hours a day would have negative side effects?

What did you get your mom this past Mother’s day? If your answer was anything other than a dating website subscription you apparently failed at being a good son or daughter.

AshleyMadison.com, the online dating site for married people (yes, there is a dating website for married people), says the day after Mother's Day is their second biggest day of the year for new female clients.
Who would have thought the thing your mom wanted the most for Mother’s day was a booty call?

“You know what I want for Mother’s day?..a new family!”

Last year, 24,000 signed up the day after Mother's Day. This year, Ashley Madison is expecting 30,000 new female enrollments.
Company reps say the top reasons married women decide to cheat are inattentive spouses, who make them feel unloved, unappreciated or take them for granted.
I hate to be a devil's advocate here, but maybe the husbands don’t appreciate their wives because their wives are looking for other men on dating websites?


“Why don’t you appreciate me?...and don’t say it’s because I’m cheating on you!”

Moms, I understand that some of you have some crappy husbands, but what makes you think you’ll find someone better on a dating website that encourages people to cheat on their spouse?

Where do ghosts in purgatory go to have fun? They apparently visit pole dancing studios. Why? It's probably the only place where ghosts can go to feel better about their predicament.

A Boston pole-dancing instructor says her studio is haunted by multiple ghosts. First of all, I didn't realize there were actual studios where strippers could learn how to pole dance. When their parents said "get an education" I doubt they meant in pole dancing.

Pole dancing: worst degree you could get (besides Liberal Arts)

Wendy Reardon, of Gypsy Rose Exotic Studio, says it’s the positive energy in the studio that attracts them. I hate to disagree with Ms. Reardon, but when you watch a pole dancer you rarely feel "positive energy." Just sad…hepatitis-like energy. Maybe ghosts are attracted jaundice.

Her story has even made it on Montell Williams (the 60 minutes of day time talk shows). Reardon has several photos that she says is evidence of the perverted Caspers.


Nice of the ghosts to provide mood lighting.

If these are ghosts. I doubt they're attracted to positive energy. The ghosts are probably just attracted to the smell of rotting souls, because most strippers souls have been dead for years.

If you’re wondering what to get your mom this Mother's Day, why not take her to the one place that will make her regret being a woman.

Hooters will be honoring moms this Mother's Day by offering free wings.
This is fitting because most Hooters employees are single mothers, and could really use the free meal.


"Thanks mom...for failing at your job!"

On May 13th, all moms will receive 10 free boneless wings when they dine-in at a Hooters.
I can't speak for everyone, but my mom isn't the biggest fan of hot wings, and half naked woman (although I've never asked).

If I’ve learned anything from writing these blogs on weird new stories it’s that there is a surprising amount of people who have less than ideal moral character. Sometimes it’s understandable. They grew up in a tough neighborhood, or went through a traumatic experience that left them mentally scared. Some people, however, are just selfish lying scumbags.

A woman from Arizona was recently charged with felony fraud after faking breast cancer to raise money for breast implants. The 27 year-old woman scammed 17 family members, friends and co-workers out of $8,000.
Unfortunately, there is no way for her to pay the donors back, because most plastic surgeons don’t have a returns policy.

unless you keep the receipt

Her dia-boob-ical plan backfired after she turned down an offer from a doctor, who offered to treat her breast cancer for free.
I guess she wasn’t expecting a doctor to be so generous. Doctors don’t practice medicine for free. What is this Canada?...or Obama's America?

People also noticed something was up when she got the surgery, and her breasts got noticeable bigger which (from what I understand) rarely happens in woman with breast cancer. Unless there is a rare form of breast cancer that I don't know about.

“If so, this woman has only days to live”

"Whose turn was it to be funny...again?"

I’m the ultimate Marvel fan. I grew up reading the comic books, watching the animated series, and I collect the action figures (I mean I collected them…as a kid)
I consider myself very close to these characters and not just because I sleep with them on my pajamas.

Everytime I watch a Marvel movie, I am often disappointed, because I expect so much more from the characters. I often think to myself, “Hurry up and get to the action already.” Even in movies like X-Men First Class ( a movie I actually liked) I felt disappointed with the very short climatic fight scene. Don't get me wrong, all action isn't the answer. Just look at X-Men Origins Wolverine. Actually, on second thought, don't look at X-Men Origins Wolverine.

Finally, Marvel’s The Avengers is here. It doesn’t just Michael Bay you with special effects or Christopher Nolan you with grittiness. It combines breathtaking action, character conflict, and hilarious one-liners into one large nerd-gasm of a movie.


"The New Avengers featuring 'Fat Captian America', 'Ugly Black Widow', and 'Midlife Crisis Hulk'"

Every character is fleshed out and has their time to shine. Even the minor characters like Agent Coulson had some memorial parts. I can’t count the number of times the movie theatre laughed out loud or cheered. Marvel's The Avengers is the ultimate Viagra for nerds, and I'm probably going to have to see a doctor, because this nerd-rection has lasted longer than 6 hours.