It’s fairly well known that Matthew McConaughey is pretty idiotic, though sometimes we go through long droughts in between sessions that exemplify his stupidity. We are not in one such drought right now.

He recently made a baby with some lady named Camila Alves, but that’s not making him grow up. He was spotted down in Nicaragua this week being a drunken mess, hitting on and touching several women.

“He already seemed to be drunk when he arrived alone, and he only got worse from there on.” said a source for “Star Magazine.” “He was putting the make on every woman in his path ... and trying to dirty-dance with a few out on the floor. But he was a mess, slurring his words and stumbling around.”

I smell the making of Dirty “Dancing 3: McConaughey Charm.”

Later in the night, Mattie was found inside of a sewer ditch looking for his lost flip-flop. Really.

McConaughey issued a statement denying his promiscuity, but he said, “And yes, I’m STILL looking for my left flip-flop. So if anyone finds it floating around ... please send it my way. There is a reward.” Heed the call, America. Send Matthew McConaughey flip-flops.

In Spears-related news, relegated sister Jamie Lynn gave birth to the third-most unlucky child in Hollywood. The other two are the baby girl’s cousins.

PETA aimed their crosshairs at Jessica Simpson this week for wearing a shirt that read, “Real Girls Eat Meat.” They were pissed for a while, but then realized that Jessica Simpson is so stupid and unliked that no one would take her wardrobe’s advice.

The organization released this statement: “For a gal who’s best known for her less-than-stellar brains ... I’m gonna go on record saying that if anyone had to wear a ridiculous shirt like this, I’m glad it was Jessica ... as people are more likely to follow the opposite of her lead. Maybe the meat-eaters of the world will be embarrassed to be categorized in the same field as Jessica Simpson.”

True, I am embarrassed to be categorized in the same field as Jessica in one respect: being of the species Homo Sapien.

Finally, following the legalization of Gay Marriage in California, the happiest event of the decade occurred: Star Trek’s George Takei was married to his honey bunny of 21 years.

George said, “It’s going to be the only day like this in our lives and it is the only day like this in the history of America. May equality live long and prosper.” Well spoken, Sulu.