So I was reading one of msn sports blogs a little while ago and it had its Top 10 upset alert specials for the week and guess what game was number 1. Yeah Auburn at Vandy. I'm not gonna go into the details of the article if you want to read it you can go here. Auburn being on the upset watch isn't why I'm writing this blurb, it's the comments on the post that I got a chuckle out of. One in particularly from Mr. Kudzu that went a little something like this...

"The only way Auburn will win is if their defense and special teams put the points on the board. Auburns new bend over, SPREAD you cheeks and grab you ankles could not outscore squat. Heads should role at Auburn for waiting the defense they have this year by saddling them with such a pathetic offence."

If it weren't true I'd be upset, but I'm just saying, the new bend over, SPREAD you[r] cheeks and grab you[r] ankles line cracked me up. (Note: You will see this again in a post, article or something I write.)
Think about it though, if it weren't for the defense Auburn would be 1-4 right now instead of 4-1. (Yeah you can send all comments on that statement to me via snail mail or just fill out the comment form to the right.) If you don't believe me look at the number of points the offense has actually score this season.

Against La Monroe they offense actually scored 20 (14 if you take away the Wes Byrum field goals). The defense scored a TD and Robert Dunn scored on a punt return. So let's start a running total - that's 14. Then there's Southern Miss... The offense scored 21 of the 27 points, but they left another 21-28 points on the field. Two fumbles inside Southern Miss' 20, an INT on their own 25 and another fumble... but I digress. So 14+21 is 35 points. Then there's Miss State. I'm not going into that let's just add the points up. 14+21+3=38 points. Then LSU came to town and the offense scored...14 points, which is amazing considering how good LSU's defense played that game. I won't go into how many times wide outs were wide open down the field or the two interceptions that were thrown, (I guess I lied), but let's see. 38+14 is 52 points in four games.

Then there's Tennessee, again let's not talk about that one let's just add the 7 points the offense scored to the 52 and that's a grand total of 59 points in 5 games by the offense. Add in the 21 from defense and special teams and that's a total of 73 points. Now to put that in perspective, Vandy's offense has scored 91 points in four games. Hell they scored 38 points in one game.

So what's my point right? If Auburn had say... a defense that played like Arkansas' who has given up 152 points, force only 5 turnovers and is dead last in opponents 3rd down conversions in four games, then they'd definitely be 1-4.

But Auburn doesn't and that's why they're 4-1, in spite of the new bend over, SPREAD you cheeks and grab you ankles offense. I know, I know, I know, it takes time to learn all the intricacies of a new offensive scheme, but damn, you're six games in and still struggle!!!!! Kudo's to the defense and the effort they put in every week, because they sure as hell deserve it. And when the coaches are handing out team awards, all of them should go to the defense. ALL OF THE!!!!!

Auburn's new bend over, SPREAD you cheeks and grab you ankles offense. HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!